I haven't thought about the nature of apologies (although I am sure that Montaigne or Bacon probably did: they seem to have an essay dedicated to just about everything). However, given the title of this entry, I suppose if one is apologizing to someone that person or persons should be a known entity. In this instance, since there really is no one particular person I am apologizing to, it comes down to myself.
But for what, you ask? Why are you apologizing to yourself?
I am apologizing for the fact that, as I near the first quarterly review of Scribblings and Bibblings, I have not set out to do what I initially intended to do. And that is to blog at least three times per week on subjects concerning literature, the nature of writing, books, and the various directions and those subjects can take, the tangential lines that all lead back to writing and reading or art in its myriad forms.
I originally started this blog as a means to continue writing almost daily and to create a growing marketing platform for my (hopefully) published works, and as I attempt to go about the process of breaking through into the publishing industry, either via employment or as a published author. Or, perhaps, more ambitiously, both. This has not been the case.
As is often the case, I have created obstacles for myself, some of which make sense, others of which are of my own choosing. Falling in the former category are those entries that do not get written as they require a little research and also a little fine-tune writing, much more than the random thoughts and natterings of a live blog entry can convey. However, there is nothing that prevents me from living up to the title of the blog itself and inundating my scant reading audience with my own scribblings and bibblings.
(And oh how most of my thoughts resemble scribblings, And O how I can bibble!)
For all of that I owe an apology to myself for not keeping up with what I intended.
Now, on to the second part of this title: resolutions. How do I intend to resolve this issue? By writing, and by eliminating that need to present to the world a polished product each time out.
(Internal voice: Did you really just refer to your previous posts as polished?
Me: Yes, but not in the complete sense of the word, as a diamond. Just polished like an old shoe, making it look not as dirty and scuffed up as it really is
Internal voice: That's still a pretty generous definition to be giving youself for these posts.
Me: Oh, shut up, internal voice.)
I, as the creator and primary contributor to Scribblings and Bibblings, hereby announce that I will no longer be holding back in terms of posts. I will attempt to ensure that each post, regardless of content, will be in the roughest and most incipient form possible. Some will be a bit more polished than others, as I do not want to come across as a nattering fool, however, many of the updates from here on out will be in first draft form. These will be the journal entries that become the stories, the essays, the books, the more polished blog posts that sit in the ethers of the internet. tiny bytes of wisdom or miscellany just hoping for someone to grab on to.
I also vow to put aside my compulsion that each post be complete: beginning, middle, end. Some posts from here on out may not be cogent, they may only be a few words or sentences long. However, they will be much more frequent.
As such, I will shortly make a post regarding the nature of live writing over polished writing, whether an audience wants to read the nascent stages of a story, the outtakes, the journals, the idea stage; or whether they would rather read the completed, polished versions.
That is my resolution.
I also vow to hope to never have to apologize to myself for the lack of blog posts again.
That, dear readers, is what I solemnly vow to attempt. I do not vow to succeed. But I vow to attempt those blogging resolutions.
With the creation of Scribblings & Bibblings that question was actually already answered: to blog. However, as is the case with everything in life, one question begets other questions which begets other questions which... we see where this is going. (There really is something to that "Ignorance is bliss" thing.) The real question is "to blog every day or not to blog every day?"
The decision to blog leads to the question how often does one blog. That is where I stand. (Some might think the decision to blog would lead to the question, what does one blog about. But, I would think those questions would be reversed in causality.) Since I decided to launch this website, and since I decided to launch this blog aspect of the website, I have been wrestling with this question. It is a question all bloggers must address at some point. And the answer each one comes up with depends on the person, the blog, and the audience, if there's a readership.
I determined early on that I should probably update the blog two to three times per week, that would be a good way to maintain new material, to not inundate people with updates, and to not overwhelm myself with the time commitment that an everyday, thoughtfully written blog post would require. It would also give me opportunity to give a day or two of thought to my posts, to refine the writing. And, a day or two break between posts would afford me the time for those that would require greater research: when the switch from 'A historic' to 'an historic' began (see author bio at side); book reviews; how punctuation can serve as a style, i.e., the personal preference over parentheses, ellipses, etc.; random top ten pop culture lists; my lifelong bibliomania. (Next post, by the way: my compulsive need to have a book with me at all times.)
And then I read Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project.
In the chapter 'March', Rubin decided to tackle the aspects of her work life where she could improve her happiness. Part of this was to start a blog. But I'll let her words speak for her:
But despite the promise of a big happiness payoff, I felt apprehensive. I worried about the time and effort a blog would consume, when I already felt pressed for time and mental energy. It would require me to make decisions that I didn't feel equipped to make. It would expose me daily to public criticism and failure. It would make me feel stupid.
Then, around this time, I happened to run into two acquaintances who had blogs of their own, and together they gave me the few pieces of key advice that I needed to get started. Maybe these providential meetings were a product of cosmic harmony --"When the student is ready, the teacher appears"-- or maybe they were examples of the efficacy of articulating my goals. Or maybe I just got lucky...
"Post every day, that's absolutely key," insisted my second adviser, who ran a law blog. Oh dear, I thought with dismay, I'd planned to post three times a week.
And so it is we are back to the beginning of the entry. What to do, what to do? How many times to post? This question ranks for me in the same realm as "Should I have another cup of coffee? Should I have another beer? Should I start homework or check Facebook statuses (statusi?) one more time?(Note to self: blog post for future: what words or plurals could stand to be updated or improved upon?) Should I move to New York City, back to Boston, or to a different city entirely?" Clearly this question bedevils me. I guess I'll figure this out in the upcoming days, weeks, and months, hopefully years, that this will be in existence.